Respect ... Just Random

Some people are so small hearted that they can only care for their happiness, their family and reciprocate only to their set of people. Yes doing to all your own set of people matters. And yes I do agree on concepts like 'your happiness you should take care' , priorities etc etc. Am not debating or disagreeing with any of that. Even I care extra bit for my set of people. I don't deny. There is a special place for the close ones in our life. But what about others who fall out of this circle? The ones who care for you a lot without any conditions attached?

If you can't give consistent courteous affection to them at the least don't hurt them or humiliate them with comparisons. Don't trivialise their affection and efforts by showing how capable you are in throwing it away.

They completely understand you have your set of people and you do not need their affection but they still give because unlike you its in their nature. If you can at the least respect it.

Before one does an act one should assess.

Would you do this to your parents siblings spouse or your so called closest circle of friends?

For instance say you ask your colleague or acquaintance to wait for you at some place for some work? You know they would definitely come and wait

And you are caught up in your little world of happiness? Would you even forget that they would be waiting? Won't you care that it gets lonely to wait and they have to know what's your plan?. For heaven sake you had asked them to wait or come and then you conveniently forget till they call you up several times? Should you not give a small message or call to tell them. Don't these come under basic humanity? Will you leave your sister or spouse at lonely place and enjoy elsewhere?

Or take any other simple act like

Simple act of acknowledging the wishes they give you? Taking your eyes off phone or laptop when they are giving you some information. Asking them how they are when you have found them sick etc. Sending wishes on your own once a while. Are these basic courteous acts meant only for close circle?

It's ok when all the above are occasional but what justification can one give when it becomes a habit? Isn't courtesy and mutual respect important?

Humanity don't need reasons to enter. It is something you can do in simple day to day affairs. How shrunk the heart of those that can care only for their happiness and their set of people...! They don't even seem to care about the amount of hurt they confer on others by their insensitive comments.

Before doing anything to anyone think whether you would do that to your own people.

It does not come as a surprise that some are small hearted to give affection and reciprocation to only their set of people and don't care to reciprocate to others who give affection and care.

What surprises me is that some cannot even treat others outside their circle with humanity, respect and courtesy.

Some people hurt you in their happiness or for their happiness. Both are ignorant and selfish. Presuming both are not intentional. It's cruel if it is intentional but I prefer to give benefit of doubt to such people and assume that it's unintentional

What do you do when you meet such people ? Behave like them to them? Of course not. Then there would be no difference between you and them. Give them unconditional affection with the hope that though they might not return it to you that would someday create a spark in them and they would not do what they did to you to another soul. You would contribute in stopping the pain waves they are creating and that's what world needs. Unconditional love and affection. Not only to those that treat you well but even to those who don't

When you send out love and unconditional affection God ensures you get it in return. May not be from the same source in which you invested but as you sow so shall you reap. There would be someone who would treat you well as you deserve

Love the ones who treat you right
Pray for the ones who don't :)

Have a blessed day

‪#‎randomwriting‬

PS: thanks to the cool small hearted folks I meet in my day to day life. You inspire me to write 

and you test my ability to give unconditional love and affection. My prayers and loads of affection to you guys. In my opinion you need them the most because your hearts are shrunk and they need to expand. May you be blessed to give affection and humanity to all

Acquaintances

More than most of the people reach out to you only when they need something from you. Help them but don't take them as close friends. See whether they are there in the times you are down. Whether they care to drop a small word to ensure you are fine. Never be close to those who can enquire only when it is convenient to them. You can name them acquaintance and give them respect.

Assess before you take people into your closer circle

You should never be close to those who never enquire you by themselves once a while :)

You should never be close to the ones who do not show their care when you are hurting

Train friends

In life you meet certain people who are just train friends

Now how I define this. Say you are going on a long journey the person next to you starts talking to you well. He cracks jokes makes you laugh and perhaps even say get to know you well

Now they do because

1. They are bored
2. They don't have their own circle of close friends around them

But when it's time to change seats or getting down you may even exchange numbers etc but they would disappear. They would meet others in the journey and be happy

You talk well but you need to realize that their talking to you in confined to the above 2 reasons

In the same way in life you will find train friends who claim to always keep those around them happy. Assess their statements and actions

1. They will talk sweetly when they need something from you

2. They will talk caringly when they are free

3. They will meet you or talk etc when they do not have their close friends around because simple they are bored

4. They do not enquire if they are busy and they know you are in trouble or hurting

5. They find it easy to ignore your communications on a constant basis because they don't really need you communicating at that point if time.

6. They really are too pre occupied that they can make you feel invisible on constant basis and you need to reach out to them to remind them that you are feeling low and want to talk to them etc

And other points left to readers imagination

But the main point I want to emphasise in this post is that one should realize that it is easy to be there when one is free but when someone is going through trouble if a person cares to find a little time to enquire that's what close friendship is all about.

We meet train friends in our life. They might claim to be your close friend at that point of time. They may claim to be consistent

But see whether you are only an option in their free time or whether they free their time once a while to ask how you are.

The problem and hurt starts when you take such train friends as close friends

It might hurt to recognise that you misjudged train friends as close friends

Wait to see delay judgement be silent. Truly close best friends can't see you hurting and ignore it without caring to say a word. They would amend their actions if they find that it had hurt you. They would care to leave a small word in midst of chaos to show they are there as moral support and make you believe that they are there with you when you are down. They would care to ensure you are safe.

But if you find they are train friends then be a train friend to them. Help them and care for them but don't take them close.

It's hard to realise train friends at later stage. Assess before you take anyone close.

If you realize later endure the pain

Remember person who is capable of hurting you would continue to hurt you. You should become immune to it

Leave it to time the best healer.

See if you are being a train friend to any who have considered you close and try to give your care and affection  :):)

Unconditional Affection

When there is unconditional affection for someone despite the amount of disappointment or hurt they have given, despite the fact you may be angry if they are not well or in trouble you still care deeply.

The moment you get anxious to ensure they are fine is when you realise that it's the mind that gets angry but the heart always care. We never know how much we care for a person unless we find them in trouble or being sick and our heart skips a beat when you hear and all you want is their well being and that becomes your single full filled thought

You want them happy and doing well and that thought is your truest self. Hidden behind the strands of ego is the child nature of a human which yearns to reach out to our loved ones. And ensure they are fine always

Being angry or disappointed does not stop you from caring for your loved ones.

After all affection is greater than perfection

Privacy

"The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you’re special too.” love your partner fiercely. But always follow your own unique dreams and Desires."

This is a real good quote. Something I observe in people. Why maintaining individuality is considered as a sign of lack of love or affection ?

Is it the false impact created by the social media?

If one does not maintain individuality they can never truly appreciate themselves.

Then they cannot love themselves which means in the long run they cannot love anyone else. That's when relationship breaks

This holds good for any relationship :)

As long as you maintain the right balance and confidence and trust you do not need proofs to establish it.

Read a news that there was an argument just because a picture is not liked in face book ! Or the demonstration of love and affection had not happened via a public social media.

Yes you can and may do it at times and it's really sweet but that should not become a need

When what is casual becomes a need then the problem starts :)

You should be confident that your life is not dictated by public display of affection.

After all maintain privacy. Let you near and closed ones have their space in social media. If a close friend or closed one does not like your pictures or does not put a picture with you don't let it bother you. Don't fight with them for the public display. Have trust that it does not in anyway means they love you less. It necessarily need not be even fight even a sort of emotional conversation to make them do something in social media is a form of emotional blackmail driven by your unnecessary need of public display. At times its sweet but then make sure it does not become an habit. Love give affection but doing like this is long run is not healthy

Doing too much first then not doing anything etc creates confusion. Be calm and consistent. Don't exaggerate in happiness or sadness try to keep it balanced matured and sensitive

Leave so between spouses I hear some friends even fight over not liking or not putting dps and statuses. Avaluku pota enaku podala nulaam sanda and disappointment

Sadly need for public display of affection is becoming a psychological problem.

Don't let fb or watsapp determine the level of affection you have with your closed ones

Elame public la pesita thaniya ennama pudusa pesa?

Just remember our previous generation did not have fb or watsapp and they lived happily and more contended than any of us with social media.

Social media should be used to exhibit your thoughts. Share your love and affection once awhile it's very sweet. But when it's not there don't let that determine your life.

Stay happy. Give healthy space and have a long standing mutual respect and trust

‪#‎kaalathinkolam‬ ‪#‎applicableforallincludingme‬

‪#‎mutualrespect‬ ‪#‎maintainprivacy‬ ‪#‎dontbeinsensitive‬